Culture Blues

Album Review: “A Different Kind Of Truth” – Van Halen

A Different Kind Of Truth - Van Halen

Look, I’m fully aware that you probably wouldn’t even listen to Van Halen as a goof in your day-to-day life. They’re not Canadian, they don’t have beards, no one is playing a sampler and, worse yet, your father totally dug them (we all know how much you hate that guy). Having said that, I would like to start this review off by letting you know that, yes, A Different Kind Of Truth is exactly the kind of album you think it is, and yes, it will probably inspire endless laughter from you and the rest of your iPad-reading, coffee-drinking friends. You can just stop wasting your time, navigate back a page, and read my other review this week. Don’t worry I won’t be upset, I’ll even wait patiently.

(Waiting patiently)

Now, if you’re still with me, I can only assume it is for one of four reasons:

1) You have been eagerly anticipating a new studio album from a David Lee Roth-fronted Van Halen for the last 28 years.

2) You are mildly curious about this record, in a ”I’ve been reading about this a lot lately” sort of way.

3) You are a guitar player and you want to know if the old man still has “it.”

4) You are a hipster who has to hide that you’re a Van Halen fan from your friends.

Well, before I get down to the meat and potatoes of this meal, let me give all four of you brief personal messages.

1) That is some serious devotion and thanks for reading this review even though you have already heard this record 4,000 times by now, and have already decided it’s the record of the century.

2) I admire your inquisitive nature. I bet you’re the kind of person who has had a lot of life experiences and personal discoveries. Tell me, what does a Rambutan taste like?

3) He is Eddie Van Halen. He will always be better at playing the guitar than you are at living. Deal with it.

4) Your secret is safe with me, I won’t tell anyone. By the way, I totally just emailed all of your friends, but it probably has nothing to do with this.

A Different Kind Of Truth sort of reminds me of a bottled city. From within, the city is timeless and eternal, static and tangible. From outside the bottle, the city is antiquated and quaint, minuscule, a novelty. If this album were to have come out in 1986 there is little doubt that it would have been a massive success, but we don’t live in the bottle, and outside it’s 2012. I could write several paragraphs about how Van Halen has no place in the zeitgeist these days, but I don’t want to waste your time with truths that we are all aware of (including Van Halen). Instead I would like to focus on how this record actually sounds better than I was anticipating.

Of course, I was anticipating the worst.

Just so we are clear: when I say this record sounds good, I am not saying this record is good. What I’m actually alluding to is that, for three dudes in their 50s (Eddie Van Halen, Alex Van Halen, David Lee Roth), and one son of rock royalty (Eddies’s son Wolfgang has replaced bassist Michael Anthony and harmonies in a very serviceable fashion), the modern lineup of Van Halen is still a blistering musical outfit. Of course, you wouldn’t know that by listening to the abysmal opening-track and lead single Tattoo, which tries to derail the proceedings in the opening minutes. Thankfully, A Different Kind Of Truth’s second track is a rework of She’s The Woman, a track which first appeared on the much revered 1976 Gene Simmons-produced Van Halen Zero sessions. Again, the song itself isn’t an impressive work of art (I am pretty sure Van Halen has never had such aspirations), but man can those guys play their collective asses of.

There is musical wizardy all over this record. It pummels your ears with stellar licks, whammy bends, and propulsive drum flourishes evey chance it gets. Even Roth comes through with a slick, although subdued, version of the guy who used to wear outlandish spandex unitards while doing roundhouse kicks back in the '80s (think Doctor Rockso). Just don’t read the lyric sheet. All of the musical fireworks aside, this record is severely lacking in hooks, and we live in a world where musicianship has become a thing of the past, and the song is king. Thus, the record’s shortcoming is its down fall.

When A Different Kind Of Truth sticks to reworks of the Van Halen Zero sessions it feels comfortable and nearly vibrant. When it tries to blaze its own trail, it loses its way a little, but all in all this record is sure to please any and all Van Halen fans, which is really all the band could want at this point in their career. I don’t think they should be expecting an invitation to play this year’s Pitchfork festival. Which is probably best for both Pitchfork and Van Halen.