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The Twitter Report: LOLZ Sk8r Dood

The future.

Twitter has picked up right where text and instant messaging left off, and that's in helping set intelligent discourse back tens of thousands of years (as one could probably argue that cavemen drawings were not nearly as mindless).

When it comes to communicating on Twitter, grown and seemingly educated people have devolved to an 8th grade level. Now I get that 140 characters isn't a whole lot to work with. But rather than shorten sentences and remove unnecessary words, people have gotten into the wretched habit of shortening words by removing necessary letters.

It's fairly common these days to abbreviate text messages when you’re on the go, (which is still pretty lame, by the way) but when you are broadcasting yourself to the world, "are you" simply cannot come out as "r u":

@terrellowens (a 37 year old college graduate) is pretty bad about this sort of thing generally speaking, but the worst part is that this tweet is 50 characters under the limit! And it’s not like it’s any faster to type “2nite” as opposed to “tonight”. Ugh. Cn u tell dis is a pet peeve tht I hv?

Ya heard??

But, ok- even though T.O. is a pretty old dude, I’ll concede that part of this is cultural. As a lifelong athlete of the highest caliber, it’s not like he has ever worked in a corporate setting or, let’s say, run for Vice President of the United States. I'm looking at you, @sarahpalinusa.

Whereas Owens doesn’t appear to think it’s cool to type out complete words, Palin seemingly just has no concept of how to write succinctly…

…or the understanding that spaces are not the enemy.


In a setting where someone can look at a stream of 140 character messages and make an instant judgment, perception is everything. Talking in the millennial's version of shorthand (I'm being kind here) gives the impression that you have the maturity of just that - a millennial. And I certainly don't buy the argument that it's hard to squeeze important information into one tweet.

If that's the case, just use two tweets.

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