Culture Blues

Internet Killed the Video Star: May

Music videos have disappeared from the airwaves but they're now available on demand 24/7 in cyberspace. Problem is, there's so much out there it's hard to find the good stuff (and the stuff so bad it needs to be seen). That's what we're here for, providing a monthly rundown of the music videos you need to be aware of.

Beyonce “Why Don’t You Love Me” – Somewhere in this song, there is a captivating portrait of a delusional woman who honestly doesn’t understand why her eagerness to please doesn’t make her indispensable to her chosen mate. Unfortunately, the song’s title is also an accurate reflection of the equally present “How could you not love this?” mentality that Beyonce has displayed over and over and over again. The video largely reinforces the former though, with Beyonce cast as the consummate 60s housewife: domestic, obedient and willing to degrade herself for her husband’s sexual fantasies (kudos to Beyonce and co-director Melina Matsoukas for using the required T&A to actually enhance the video’s themes). Her desperation and frustration are conveyed with striking shots of Beyonce’s mascara streaked face as she smokes cigarettes and drunkenly spills martinis.

Ludacris ft. TreySongz “Sex Room” – Sex songs have never really been my thing, but occasionally they’re done with enough personality and creativity to overcome my natural aversion. Sex Room is almost ridiculous enough to stand out, but ultimately it’s a pretty unremarkable entry. In the world of sex songs, it’s pretty much a monogamy anthem though, with the line about “just you and me” (in the sex room). The video is bookended by Hangover inspired scenes that prove women get wasted and do regrettable things too, but the rest is just sex filler. Also, it totally undercuts that monogamy business. More importantly, this marks Luda’s 5^thconsecutive appearance in this column. 2010 exists only in the Ludaverse.

The Black Keys “Tighten Up” – A clever little playground love triangle underscoring the fact that women start their misleading and deceptive ways early on, that men of all ages are incapable of handling emotions maturely, and that crowds always make for trouble. There’s a lot packed into this short, simple video and it all works, largely due to the abilities of the two lead kids. Very enjoyable.

Nickelback “This Afternoon”– This video is reprehensible on moral and artistic levels, even moreso than you already assumed by the fact that it’s a Nickelback video. It’s an absolutely braindead “porch drinking” song which will make the summer days go by much quicker for Abercrombie & Fitch patrons who a) drink on their porch in the afternoon and b) listen to Nickelback. But I appreciate the fact that Nickelback acknowledges the fact that no one actually likes them when the party organizer in their own video is actually disappointed when his lackey kidnaps Nickelback so they can play at his pussy parade. If someone this stunted and infantile doesn’t like Nickelback, surely no one else would either.

Against Me “I Was a Teenage Anarchist” – Starting your single-shot video with a man running in profile invites comparisons to Spike Jonze’s “California” video for Wax. And when you’re talking about the union of concept and execution, you’re pretty much always going to lose out to that video. On its own merits, this video is quite good, but there’s nothing excellent about it and the beating goes on for too long with no escalation or drama. It’s screaming for something to distinguish itself.

Robin Thicke ft. Snoop Dogg “It’s In the Mornin”– Is there anything grosser than a Robin Thicke song about sex in the morning that includes the lyric “Let me put some cream in your coffee”? No, there isn’t.

Muse “Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever)”– I love music videos from soundtracks that are somehow tied into the movie. The results are frequently boring, but there is the possibility for some great stuff. Of course, sometimes this means you have to watch a video from the soundtrack to the next Twilight movie. The song sucks, but you already know that because you read its title. It sounds like Chris Martin and Jon Bon Jovi had sex and their demonic spawn shat this out. Sure, it’s appropriately dramatic for melodrama like Twilight, but that doesn’t make it good or memorable. The video does nothing to sell the band or the movie. Lousy clips of dumb vampires and dogs (that aren’t integrated well at all) contrasted with Muse doing their typical performance thing (bright lights, big video screens). Barf.

Drake “Find Your Love” – This tale of star crossed lovers set in the gang-ruled slums of Jamaica reminded me of the excellent City of God. It’s well done and Drake’s inherent sleepiness is precluded from ruining the viewing experience. All in all, it almost makes this generic and poppy R&B cut from the overly hyped multi-hyphenate worth listening to.

Solillaquists of Sound “Marvel” – This is billed as “the first of a 3-part music video series… set to mirror the group’s collection of three conceptually linked albums.” This first video is supposed to introduce the characters and the next is said to fit their second album’s “action-packed dynamic.”  The video is easy enough to watch but it sure does seem like all set up. I’m not sure where they are going with this and I’m prepared to be let down as I have by many similarly ambitious projects, but for the time being I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. Stay tuned, I guess.

Miley Cyrus “Can’t Be Tamed”– Consider me officially convinced that Miley Cyrus is way ahead of schedule on the road to a Lindsay Lohan/Britney Spears style breakdown. I mean, this train is tearing down the tracks and may soon time jump a la Back to the Future 3 just to get there sooner. Simply judging the video for what it is, it’s fine. Typical pop drivel. But, turning Miley into a bird woman (no, I’m serious) is silly enough to keep me entertained and I like the fact that someone finally set a music video in a museum of natural history. It’s hard to not view the video in a larger context though. Miley is 17 now and, despite the law, questions about the sexual objectification of a child are pretty much past their expiration date. But there is still something unappealing about watching her try so desperately to shake the Hannah Montana image as she gyrates, offers up sex to men who are willing to accept the fact that they can’t change her (it’s funny how when a woman expresses this it’s “empowering” rather than boneheaded and stubborn) and reaches toward her crotch in a shot stolen directly from Spears’ “Oops! I Did It Again” video. Apparently, Miley can’t be tamed but she can do exactly what every pop starlet of the past decade has done. This song has given us one of the greatest lies in the history of pop music though. “I'm not a fake, it's set in my DNA.” If there is ANYTHING that Billy Ray Cyrus’ sperm endowed you with, it’s a predetermination to be a soulless, fraudulent, money-making, ass-shaking machine for corporations.

VIDEO OF THE MONTH: Ruste Juxx & Marco Polo “Nobody” – In terms of tone, this video rests somewhere between “Bittersweet Symphony” and on-the-street SNL Digital Shorts such as People Getting Punched Right Before Eating and On the Ground (both among my favorites). It’s very funny and while the video only has two tricks (Ruste and Marco abusing people on the street and things exploding around them), those two tricks are repeated with enough variation that they feel fresh throughout the runtime. The song is strictly gangsta bravado but Ruste rides the beastly beat quite nicely.

VIDEO FLASHBACK: Music from the Movies - Inspired by this month's Muse video, I wanted to look at other videos that have a direct tie-in to a movie. The video must feature clips from the movie, actors from the movie or a specific link to the movie's plot, setting, etc. Coming up with good ones was harder than I thought, so please chime in with any you can think of.

Coolio ft. 40 Thievz “I’ll C U When You Get There” (from Nothing to Lose) – The Matrix owes a lot to this inspirational gem from 1997. I admit it, I’m pretty much predetermined to like anything that has to do with Nothing to Lose. Funny movie.

R.E.M. “The Great Beyond” (from Man on the Moon) – This video is eligible because there are a bunch of clips from the movie in it, but what makes it special is how the whole thing is imbued with the irreverent spirit of the late, great Andy Kaufman. As an added bonus, it’s pretty much all about how bullshit TV is. A fitting tribute to a one of a kind talent.

Coolio ft. L.V. “Gangsta’s Paradise” (from Dangerous Minds) – Over his whole career, Coolio is little more than a joke. A more prolific Skee-Lo if you will. But the song that made him a star is actually good, and I say that with no qualifications whatsoever. The video features some horrific acting from Michelle Pfeiffer. But it’s nice she showed up and they mix the original footage and the movie clips well.

B Real, Coolio, Method Man, LL Cool J & Busta Rhymes “Hit ‘Em High (The Monstars Anthem)” (from Space Jam) – In 1996, this was about as monstrous (yes I did) a rap all-star team as you could hope to gather. Listening to this song for the first time in 13 years was a real trip down memory lane. I love how it seems Meth is the only one who bothered to watch the movie (he namechecks Swackhammer for god’s sake!). And we finally get an answer to the question, “Is Method Man too high to break-dance properly?” You will not be surprised by the answer.

Pras ft. Mya & Ol’ Dirty Bastard “Ghetto Superstar” (from Bulworth) – I came to this song remembering very little except for the hook (I couldn’t even remember who was in it until I found the video). It’s such a pointless, awful song. Seriously, who wants to listen to a song in which Pras has three separate verses?!? The only good part is Dirt’s “I’m hanging out, partying with girls that never die” line. Classic. The video is actually pretty good though, and opens up with quite possibly the single greatest scene of music video/movie integration.

Blackstreet ft. Mya, Ma$e & Blinkey Blink “Take Me There” (from Rugrats: The Movie) – These projects really invite bloated collaborations, huh? The sets here are great, putting us in a live action Rugratsworld. Then Ma$e and Blinky Blink show up in a dino-car that must be from the show/movie and actually rap about all the Rugrats characters. Shocking.

Whitney Houston “I Will Always Love You” (from The Bodyguard) – It definitely helps when the star of your movie can also sing her ass off, but no video I found does a better job of selling the movie. The opening does an effective job of emotionally conveying the “lost love” angle. We get a very dramatic moment when Whitney really blows it out towards the end, accomplished with a simple little trick that keeps the focus on the vocals. And the video offers a satisfying climax that sees both of our main characters running. I don’t know if the music video/movie tie-in has ever been done better.

I am temporarily crowning "I Will Always Love You" king of the movie music videos, but I know I forgot about tons. Remind me in the comments.

Tagged as: against me, Beyonce, blackstreet, blinky blink, coolio, drake, ludacris, ludacris is in every video, mase, miley cyrus, monstars, Muse, muse sold out, music video movie tie ins, mya, nickelback knows nickelback sucks, nickelback sucks, ODB, pras, r.e.m., robin thicke, ruste juxx & marco polo, sexy lesbian bird, snoop doog, solillaquists of sound, the black keys, whitney houston