Culture Blues

Nonsensical Geek-Out: “The Candidate”

Noooooo.

SPOILERS BELOW FOR THE MOST RECENT LOST! ALERT! ALERT!

So there I am watching Lost; I'm eating my wild boar, I've wrapped Dharma labels around my PBR's, and I am freaking out 'cause Sawyer just pulled those whats-its out of that bomb. The room I am in is starting to tremble as my panic fills it. How are they going to get out of this one? Shouldn't Sawyer have learned by now? Is wounded Kate going to die? Then the unspeakable fucking happens. Halfway through the 45th minute of Lost, my poor sweet Sayid looks into the face of the new Jaco- I mean Jack, and starts to tell him about the well that still has Desmond in it (if this isn't making sense to you I don't care), at this point I am spewing profanity at my TV with rather embarrassing frequency.

"Oh my God, Sayid!" I yell, knocking over my scale model of Flight 815.

Jack looks him in the face and asks. "Why are you telling me this?"

Sayid looks back all cold-blooded and badass. "Because it is going to be you, Jack".

He picks up the bomb and starts to run with it, and I think to myself, "Maybe he is going to do something awesome with it, like flush it out a torpedo tube -that sub has to have torpedo tubes, right?"... but no. Sayid ran with it till it blew up in his hands; maybe he thought that his fit Iraqi body would be able to absorb some of the blast and help protect the other survivors, maybe he was seeking some sort of absolution for the fall he had taken this season... or maybe it was just another nonsensical, illogical TV death. Couldn't he have thrown the bomb into a room and closed the door to at least given himself a shot? Couldn't Charlie have stepped out of the radio room before it flooded and closed that door as well? Come on!!! Also, we are taking about Sayid here; not Lapidus, who died in stock comical fashion (with a one liner to boot), but Sayid! Surely he deserved better than that. Surely I did too!

At this point I want to run to my replica of the Swan station, curl up into a ball, and cry my night away, but Darlton aren't done yet! I now have to have my shock and grief get compounded by heartbreak.

We all knew that Jin wasn't going anywhere, and that is what made it terrible. They had spent SO much time looking for each other; throughout space-time, plot-twists, and plot-holes only to be reunited in the episode prior. There was some very clumsy foreshadowing in the first half of the episode, as Jin and Sun had a conversation about who had custody of the daughter that Jin himself had never met in person, which gave you the feeling that something terrible was going to happen. Once it became obvious that Sun was trapped and could not be rescued, the Lost melancholy melody started playing and my eyes began to sting a little.

This whole thing was just getting too brutal for me. My dog, Vincent, tried to come over and console me but I was too distraught. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that there are only four hours left of this series and THIS is where they are taking it!

Then something dawned on me! "Wait a second" I shouted as my heart attempted to lift. "Kate is still shot! Maybe she will die too!" I crossed my fingers and toes in wishful anticipation... and found her standing on the god-damn beach! You have got to be fucking kidding me! Talk about a cock tease. Way to add acrimonious insult to my injury.

Sigh.

As the episode ended I sat there and tried to collect my wits. V then started to come on, and the sight of Juliet was too much for me, so I turned off my TV. Just in time too, that stupid alarm was going off.