Culture Blues

The Instant Movie Club: Grilled

Every week, your friends at Culture Blues get together to watch a movie from their Netflix Instant queue. Then, they sit down over porterhouse steaks to discuss what they’ve just been through. This is The Instant Movie Club.

This week we'll be discussing Grilled, which stars CBS sitcom husbands Ray Romano and Kevin James as down on their luck meat salesmen. If you haven't seen it yet, you'll probably want to turn back now. The below discussion contains heavy spoilers!

Next week: Antichrist - Acclaimed director Lars Von Trier ratchets up the crazy in this psychological thriller that sees Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg retreat to a cabin after the death of their child.

SPOILERS BELOW!

Jeremiah: There is almost something endearing about Grilled. Almost. It’s one of those movies where ordinary guys get mixed up in some criminal dealings and then find they can survive, and in some cases thrive, in life or death situations. It’s been done many times before, especially in direct-to-DVD fare such as this. There isn’t anything new here, but the movie looks good in a down and dirty 80s way. It never gets too silly. And there are a few entertaining scenes. I feel like some of the people involved were really trying.

Unfortunately, Grilled fails miserably in delivering comedy and characters worth rooting for. Ray Romano does an admirable job. He doesn't generate many laughs, but his performance at least calls to mind a real person. His partner, Kevin James, on the other hand, generates one laugh (when he trips on a fence and falls flat on his face) and destroys any chance that Grilled has of building laughs, tension or anything else relating to human emotion. He's such a big dumb man-child that Romano garners way more sympathy than him, even though James' goal is to get a nice birthday present for his daughter, while Romano's is to get money for his next semester of acupuncture classes. I cared more about the guy who wants to keep going to acupuncture school than the guy who has a family to support! That's the sign of a bad movie, and a worse actor.

The first half hour or so is completely wasted establishing Romano and James' dire straits at their meat selling job and the fact that they are pretty shitty salesmen. It's totally wasted because their situation is the thinnest of devices to get the movie rolling and because after the first half hour, they turn into pretty competent salesmen.

There are a few nicely done supporting roles. Michael Rapaport and Eric Allan Kramer are good as the hitmen (True Romance reunion!), and Kim Coates is perfect as the unstable Tony. Unfortunately, the excellent Jon Polito turns in a limp performance as a piano teacher.

I didn’t hate Grilled as much as I expected to. There isn’t anything particularly loathsome about it (except Kevin James’ performance), but it is a bad movie with nothing of value to offer.

Congratulations! You're better than Kevin James.

Jeff: Wait – so you mean Ray Romano and Kevin James aren’t the biggest names in dark independent comedy? Grilled is a bizarre and ultimately mediocre film. Or should I say video? It’s likely that this thing never actually screened on film, unless Kevin James has a print stored in his private theatre. I agree with most of what Jeremiah had to say  – Ray Romano is surprisingly convincing as a lothario salesman, Kevin James’ daughter storyline is painfully trite, and Kim Coates rescues Grilled from utter disaster in the second act.

Grilled the movie isn’t nearly as interesting to me as Grilled the production. At some point, this quirky script about door-to-door meat salesmen crossed someone’s desk, and that someone decided this would be a perfect vehicle for Ray Romano and Kevin James. It’s the first (and only) feature from veteran sitcom director Jason Ensler and while he never directed an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond or King of Queens, I’m sure his small screen sensibility kept Romano and James in their comfort zone. With those three attached, the production also manages to land talent like Michael Rapaport, Burt Reynolds, and Juliette Lewis – not A-list by any means, but names big enough to suggest someone thought they were dealing with an independent gem here, a possible cult classic.

But who would possibly want to watch this movie? Besides us, that is. It’s a sincere effort to shed the goofy sitcom husband image that Romano and James have been saddled with after a combined 416 episodes (and millions and millions of dollars) of their shows. Romano is somewhat successful at this, but I’m pretty sure indie circuit snobs weren’t clamoring for Romano to show a different side. It takes more than meat salesmen and grainy digital video to garner indie credibility. I doubt they were expecting to screen Grilled at Sundance, but could they have ever even considered a wide release?

Were they trying to appeal to the King of Queens and Raymond audience?  Oh lord, with all that cursing? It’s interesting that Grilled comes just as both shows are winding down. In fact, Grilled is Romano’s first project after Raymond, and it comes before James’ turn in the cinematic masterpieces I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry and Paul Blart:  Mall Cop. But you can’t expect me to believe that Ray Barone making out with a post-op transsexual is going to test well with fans of CBS sitcoms. Well, maybe those deviants that enjoy Two and a Half Men…

Grilled is remarkable only in that it exists. It’s a testament to weird Hollywood projects that we will likely never understand. Unless they attach a commentary track to the upcoming Criterion edition.

Have you seen Grilled? Join the discussion in our comments section below.

Next week: Antichrist