Culture Blues

As the Oscars approach, we'll be taking a look at some of the films, people and stories that will make the 2010 Oscars the most recent yet. And don't forget to stop by on Sunday when we'll be liveblogging the Oscars from our ivory tower.

Sandra Bullock is the front-runner to win Best Actress at the Oscars on Sunday.  Even two months ago, I would've been shocked to learn I'd be typing those words today.

You get me that Oscar, you big dummy!

Sandy has been one of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood for over a decade.  It's hard to think of a good reason why.  The majority of her work has been stupid comedies, stupid romantic comedies and movies where she's aboard something that is about to blow up.  Before 2009, she was hardly bankable at the box office (and even 2009 included All About Steve, let us not forget that).  At least half her movies are commercial and critical failures (well, all of them are critical failures).  But The Proposal and The Blind Side combined made over $550 million worldwide, so 2009 has been named her "comeback" year, though she's been pocketing over $20 million a picture all along.

The Blind Side, for which she is nominated, is a ridiculous movie.  Equal parts Rudy and Precious, it's the falsely heartwarming, possibly racist story of Michael Oher's rise from the ghetto to the Baltimore Ravens.  Obviously, the film focuses on the Tuohys, the white, affluent Republican family that took him in and taught him to play football.  It's positively baffling that this film has made $250 million and gotten a Best Picture nomination.  The sequence of "Big Mike" and youngest Tuohy S.J. (who is in the top 10 most annoying child actors I've ever seen) duetting on "Bust a Move" should really disqualify it from both distinctions.  I suppose the film's financial success isn't that much of a shocker, because all it does is pander to Middle America.  Pandering to Middle America is where Sandra comes in.

Wait - you mean Bullock doesn't already have an Oscar?

Now, Sandra Bullock gives a perfectly fine performance in The Blind Side.  As Leigh Ann she has blond hair, an accent and a heart of gold.  There are a couple tender moments here and there, such as when she goes to meet Michael's cliche crackhead mother, which I am not ashamed to say got me.  She should be proud of her work, because she's pretty much all that makes the movie watchable (sorry, Tim McGraw!).  I commend her for transcending her reputation of giving mediocre performances in terrible movies, by giving a slightly above average performance in a terrible movie.

But, should the Academy Award really go to Sandra Bullock?  If you've been reading up to this point, it won't surprise you that I say no.

Sandra Bullock winning Best Actress for The Blind Side is pretty much the same level of stupidity as Taylor Swift winning the Grammy for Album of the Year.  Both Bullock and Swift are perfectly charming, mildly talented ladies.  For whatever reason, America loves them to bits, and why not?  They're delightful!  But do we then give them awards that are basically saying "out of everyone who does your job, you were the best at it!"  Obviously, in real life, Oscars don't mean anything.  Cuba Gooding Jr. has one.  We've all drunkenly pontificated that you can't compare art, and there's no way to really determine that a film or song or TV show is really "the best."  I, however, can be pretty sure that Sandra Bullock was not "the best" at her craft last year.

The Academy loves shit like this.  Frivolous A-lister gives decent performance in serious movie, frivolous A-lister wins an Oscar (note: it doesn't work for Best Actor, sorry Jim Carrey!).  It's good for ratings, and it's a nice way of saying, "look how talented this person we've shoved down your throats for years really is!"  As long as you're well liked around town (sorry, Eddie Murphy!), you're golden.  All of your Two If by Seas, forgotten.  The problem is that the day after, you're still considered a serious actor.  If and when she wins, we are going to be subjected to a lot more Serious Bullock.  America, are we really going to be complicit in the legitimizing of Sandra Bullock?

Now Sandy, if you're reading this, it's nothing personal.  You seem like a Grade A delight.  Your acceptance speeches at the Golden Globes and SAG Awards were humble and charming, and this certainly hurts a lot less than that Julia Roberts/Ellen Burstyn/Bjork debacle in 2001.  Part of me will be happy to see your goofy, Betty White loving, million dollars to Haiti donating ass go up on that stage on Sunday.  But the rest of me will weep for the future of cinema.