Culture Blues

Frivolous Lawsuit News: Lohan Sues E*Trade

Look Who's Talking About the Stock Market Now. That joke sucked.

Well, apparently Lindsay Lohan needs some drinking money, because she has decided to sue E*Trade Financial Corp this week for “invoking her likeness” in their super bowl ad.  The ad is part of a series where humans have once again proven that they are a sucker for commercials involving talking life forms that have no business talking (see also: Charles Barkley).  In the ad in question, a baby boy is being hounded by his girlfriend for not calling the night before, eventually asking “And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?”  The punchline is delivered by another female baby leaning into the frame and inquiring, “Milk-a-what?”

How much is the lawsuit for, you might ask?  It’s only A HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS.  I wonder where exactly that figure came from.  Does she think that the company is a hundred million dollars richer because of the advertisement?  Or is part of that the pain and suffering of having someone with the same first name as her depicted in a less than flattering light?  Lohan’s attorney is maintaining that she has the same “single-name” recognition as Oprah or Madonna.  Yeah, not so much.

Legally, it should be this simple:

1. Is Lindsay Lohan an infant?

2. Is Lindsay Lohan addicted to milk?

Alright, case closed.  Let's get drunk.