Culture Blues

Apocalyptic News: Hire Your Own Paparazzi

For an additional fee, you can die in a car crash. Offer only valid in Paris.

Tania Cowher runs a service called, “Celeb for a day”.  If the title and the first sentence of this bit have not made you groan, you might already be a vapid hooker!  For a price, and the official website doesn’t specify what exactly that is, paparazzi can follow you around and badger you endlessly for the evening.  As one customer in this video explains, “We’re all kind of celebrities in our own way, in our own lives.”  No actually you’re not; you’re just Marissa from accounting.  Stop it.  Celebrities often comment that paparazzi are the lowest form of life, well better think again: because those that actually want to seek out their attention might be worse.

The hilarity continues on the website’s FAQ where it is said that if you are late, there is a fifty dollar fee.  Could you imagine how awkward of a transaction that could be if a guy was using this service to get laid?  Anyway, if you live in Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York City, or Austin and feel like lighting money on fire give them a call.  Also applicable if you are a washed up celebrity desperately trying to turn back the clock to when people actually gave a shit.  I bet Christian Slater loves the A-list package!