Culture Blues

Interview: Colt Cabana

At the risk of sounding uncool, and alienating 90% of our hipster douchebag readership, I’m just going to come out and say it:  I love professional wrestling. I’ve followed it off and on since I was a kid. I used to tell the other dorks in elementary school gym class that I was related to Bret “The Hitman” Hart and I’m not too proud to admit that I cried when The Hitman was forced to kiss the disgusting feet of Jerry “The King” Lawler. I still follow wrestling today and I do so knowing full well the stigma attached to sweaty men engaged in scripted combat.

Over the years, many of the geeky passions of my youth have managed to carve out mainstream acceptance. Video games, comic books, science fiction, underground fight clubs – all things the pretentious tastemakers of our society have come to terms with. Not wrestling. It remains a niche interest shared by mostly males enjoying an awkwardly lengthy post-adolescence, gathering in secret on dimly lit internet message boards to discuss foreign concepts like “work rate.”

That’s not to say the wrestling world hasn’t tried to broaden its pop culture appeal. Former World Champion The Rock is now a major movie star and rapper-cum-wrestler John Cena, star of The Marine and Twelve Rounds, is well on his way to becoming a household name. Also, WWF (fuck wildlife, I don’t acknowledge copyrights) has made some headway with their recent guest host shtick, attempting to turn their weekly show into a legitimate place for stars to pimp projects, and garnering major attention from ESPN and tabloid entertainment shows for their efforts. Hell, even Ring of Honor (the current home of this interview’s subject) was written up in 2009’s Best of New York issue of the Village Voice.

Wrestling, and its crossover appeal, is something of great interest to me. So obviously I jumped at the chance to interview Colt Cabana, a former WWF wrestler now working on the indies. Where does Cabana fit in on this jaded pop culture site of ours? Recently, he’s come to the attention of the mainstream, not for his top notch ring work, but for his status as a “professional wrestler/amateur improviser.” Cabana hosts The Wednesday Night Main Event, a weekly improv show at Chicago’s Comedysportz. His group – Kayfabe – is the headliner. He’s also been traveling the country as part of Total Extreme Comedy where wrestlers engage in the bloodsport of stand-up comedy. He’s also got a documentary, Wrestling Road Stories, in the works for release sometime this year.

Jeff @ Culture Blues (JCB):  Let’s start with the obligatory “how did you get into wrestling?” question.

Colt Cabana (CC): I’ve loved wrestling since I was a kid. I remember being 3 or 4 years old, sitting on my father’s floor while he was watching wrestling, and I thought it was awesome. I remember Andre the Giant getting his hair cut in a handicap match and I don’t know if it was that image, but that’s what I remember the most, and I was hooked from that point. It’s what I loved growing up – through elementary and middle school, all the kids they loved wrestling, and then they got to high school and thought they were too cool for wrestling. But it was what I loved so I said – you know what? I’m not going to worry about being judged. My parents said I couldn’t become a wrestler until I finished my college education. I was 18, old enough to be a man, and I couldn’t put it off any longer, so I started to train while I finished college.

JCB:  What do you say to those “cool kids” now?

CC: When you see your friends go off to become doctors, and lawyers, and get their real estate jobs – normal society – and you know their first love wasn’t to sell somebody a house for a 10% commission. I don’t want to make them feel bad about themselves – I just say, hey, this is what I love to do and I went for it.

JCB:  What was it like working for WWE?

CC: It was a childhood dream come true. And I say that because there’s a lot of things, in my career, where I make sure to step back and say – hey, when you were a kid this is what it was all about. You have to step back and remember when you were a kid and your dream was to be on the same show you watched as a child. So from that standpoint it was awesome. From a professional standpoint it was upsetting that I only went as far as I did, which is a weird thing to say because some guys don’t even make it that far. But I’ve put in so many hours and done so many crazy things that a grown man really shouldn’t do to get where he is. My goal was to have a long tenure as a superstar character, not necessarily a Hulk Hogan or an Ultimate Warrior, I just wanted to be The Junkyard Dog. A fun-loving character that the kids would relate to and that people would remember forever. My WWE run just wasn’t what I’d dreamed it to be and hopefully, one day, it will be.

Upon debuting with the WWE, Cabana’s ring name was changed to Scotty Goldman. His character was an outgoing Jewish kid, a goofball. While he worked mostly on the undercard, WWE had enough faith in him to give him a weekly internet show on their website (pay special attention to the Star of David transitions). Cabana was released from his contract six months after his on-air debut.

JCB:  Where did Scotty Goldman come from?

CC: Well, my real name is Scott. When I first debuted they asked me for a couple ideas for promos. I pitched an idea where it was Friday Night Smackdown and instead of being home at the sha-? At the – what’s it called? Shows you what a great Jew I am. The Sabbath! Instead of being home at the Sabbath and playing dreidel, I’m here on Friday Night Smackdown. And so from that, I guess Vince [McMahon] was really intrigued by my Judaism. I’m not sure if he wanted to play off it big time, but he had it in the back of his mind that I would be a Jewish character, not necessarily a full-fledged wrestling rabbi, but that’s where the Goldman came from. I wanted to be Mookie Munroe.

JCB:  Why Mookie Munroe?

CC: You can’t boo a Mookie, man.

JCB:  Now that you’re back in Ring of Honor, you sometimes work in front of New York indy wrestling fans that have a reputation for being harsh or brutal. How do the fans compare to those in Chicago who are equally devoted to their improv?

CC: When I first came back to ROH the reception I got in New York was something I’ll never forget in my whole life and something that I really needed at the time. I don’t think they’re brutal. Throughout history New York fans are the most critical and also the most loving fans. They love their wrestling and you gotta do it right or else they’ll let you know. In terms of the Chicago improv scene, everyone’s been nothing but great and supportive. Not just the audience but the actors and comedians I’ve been working with.

JCB:  How did you get into improv?

CC: It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I’m from Chicago, it’s the home of improv comedy. When I got released I moved back home and I felt like I should be a part of it. Comedy is what I love – whether in the ring or out of the ring. TNA had flown me down to Florida to do a show and backstage I met Ed Ferrara [wrestling and sitcom writer]. When Ed was working for WCW he moved to Chicago and was part of the improv scene. I asked him if I wanted to be a wrestler and a comedian, what would be my best route. He put me in touch with Nick Hausman [a member of Kayfabe] who’s a staple at the Comedysportz theatre and he put me together with a group of guys and basically threw me right to the wolves. Nick was all about it. He loves wrestling and he loves comedy and he wanted to help. I’ve been working with all these great guys – we were all taught by Bill Arnett at The iO. That’s where Chris Farley, Tina Fey, Steve Carell and others got their start. To have a teacher like Bill Arnett help me out has been great. I took a three month intensive, everybody took me under their wing, and then we started doing the show at Comedysportz.

JCB:  How does improv compare to working a wrestling show?

CC: I’m a veteran at wrestling – I jump in the ring and it’s like another day at work for me. That’s how these guys are at comedy. I feel almost like a rookie, which is interesting. There’s a lot of similarities – knowing what the audience wants to see, and their emotions. We’re having a blast, getting better each time.

JCB:  Do you plan to stick with improv beyond this seven week run at Comedysportz?

CC: I’m also doing the stand-up which I love a lot too. I almost see more of a future with the stand-up than the improv. We plan to keep the team together, as long as they’ll have me. It’s really just opening doors, getting my creative toes a little wet. It’s allowed me not to be just stapled – I shouldn’t use the world stapled – as a wrestler. I’ve got a lot more tools in my tool belt. The reality of it is, these guys all go to WWE and they get fired and they don’t know what to do with their lives. Even though I’m college educated, I have a degree in business – but that’s not what I want to do, I did that to appease my parents. I want to entertain people. I found out through wrestling that I can make people laugh, so maybe I’ll be able to do that not just inside the ring, but outside the ring.

JCB:  Tell me about Total Extreme Comedy.

Right now we’re basically touring around America. Mick Foley is the headliner and I’m the opener. They asked me if I wanted to do 10 minutes and I jumped at the chance. It’s another outlet, it’s great – I have so many ways to express myself. It’s like I said, nobody wants to flip houses for a living, so I’m just following my dreams.

JCB:  What comedians do you like?

I’m a big alternative comedy fan. Zach Galifanakis, Dmitri Martin, Mitch Hedberg, Brian Posehn. I could go on forever. Different and unique, that’s what I like. Not just in comedy, but in life. That’s why you’ll notice, even when I wrestle, I do some weird shit. Because I don’t want to do the same hip tosses and arm drags that everybody else does. What fun is that? We’re given this platform, let’s do some weird shit, that’s what I say.

JCB:  And what about Wrestling Road Stories?

We filmed this fall before Bryan Danielson got signed by WWE. It’s an idea we both had for years. We filmed ten days – we did nine shows/seminars in ten days. It’s a documentary, sort of like the Comedians of Comedy tour. It not only shows you some of the jokes, or in our case the matches, but you get to see what’s going on behind the scenes. In my mind, that’s what people are intrigued by. Colt – I’ve seen your matches, now I want to know what goes into these matches. Why do you do it? What are you doing when you’re off the road? We’re opening up life on the road – not life on the road for famous wrestlers like John Cena with limos and five-star hotels – we’re sleeping on our friends’ floors, we’re wrestling for pennies, for hot dogs. It’s interesting. It’s not a sad story, it’s not a happy story. It’s just what we do every day.

You can catch Colt Cabana and Kayfabe Wednesdays at Chicago’s ComedySportz Theatre through March and follow him on Twitter.

Tagged as: colt cabana, comedysportz chicago, ring of honor, scotty goldman, total extreme comedy, wednesday night main event, wrestling road stories