Culture Blues

Around Town: Skits N Tits

Stormy Leather of Skits N Tits

So, it is a Wednesday night and you are sitting on the couch (like you do), eating your favorite delivery (you know it’s a bad sign when they recognize the timbre of your voice) and thinking to yourself "Fuck, dude! There has to be more to my night than watching re-runs of this show I don't even like". Well there is... But you have to get off your ass to enjoy some of the diversions and joys that life has to offer. We here at Culture Blues are a brave lot; we do not tolerate boredom, we scoff at routine, we are the intrepid explorers of experience, and we have a piece of advice for you: stop playing Modern Warfare 2 (if only for a couple of hours, You don't want to get the dreaded red ring, do you?) and LEAVE YOUR HOUSE! I did last week... I even lived to write about it.

The Bowery Poetry Club

As 9:00PM rolled around most of you were getting ready to watch Dancing with the Stars (you fucking sicken me). I, however, was putting on my shoes and making sure my cell phone was charged as I got ready to embark on my evening of adventure. A short, and mercifully uneventful, train ride spirited me away to the hub of genuine hunger, art, and madness that is known as the Lower East Side. Less than three blocks from the Second Avenue train station is a haven for free thinkers and misfits called the Bowery Poetry Club. The Bowery is the kind of wonderful destination where the whiskey flows endlessly while your nights are lost; it’s not just liquor and revelry though, there is also nightly entertainment that accompanies the booze and ambience. On any given evening you can walk into the Club and find a poetry slam, a hip-hop showcase, some of the edgiest standup in the city, or some indie rockers who "aren't interested in fame, man".

The ladies of Skits N Tits

On this particular humpday I was fortunate enough to be stopping by the Bowery on one of their more popular nights: Skits N Tits; a lovely amalgamation of standup comedy, musical performances, skits, and burlesque. Now I know what you are thinking... "They don't have anything like that in my hometown"! Well, that is why you should move. I found my seat after acquiring my program and got ready to forget about life for awhile.

The show began with Emcee (and top notch bartender) Shappy, introducing the night and giving the rundown before launching into a touching, humorous, and timely ode to Jim Henson and Sesame Street. On the heels of his intro came the first Tits segment of the evening, a stunning burlesque performer by the name of Stormy Leather, whose classic meets classy routine was very enjoyable and set a very promising tone for the evening. Stormy was followed by Dan Allen, a standup-storyteller from Texas, who recounted HILARIOUS tales of growing up with his brothers: Allen's comparison of his youngest sibling to the Princess at the end of every video-game was sublime and really worked the target demographic. The next performer to take the stage was another comedian, Anthony Jeselnik. He was more traditional as far as delivery and cadence is concerned, and his jokes were edgy and spot on, but there was a somewhat unlikable/off-putting characteristic to him as an individual (I am pretty sure it was just an act, but it didn't quite work for me) which kept the crowd from fully connecting with him.

After Mr. Jeselnik's walk-off about suicide we were treated to our first Skit of the evening: basically a Thanksgiving dinner/nightmare which starred the creative forces behind Skits N Tits, Diane O'Debra, Stephanie Sebeli, and Jessica Delfino (hereafter referred to as "The Ladies"). The Skit was promising and showed moments of humor, but was ultimately a little half-baked and lacking polish. The first musical performance of the evening came in the form of Ben Lerman, who had a very sharp, knee-slapping ukulele routine (you read that right). His first number was a crowd slaying rendition of the Riskay classic Can I Smell Your Dick?, followed by an equally riotous original composition, Pig Fucker, about his experience trolling a gay dating site (I am not making any of this shit up!).

It was around this point that I became aware of another more subtle star of the evening... The evening itself! As the night began to bloom I realized that it was not just the performers, it was the community as well. The hecklers, the loud laughers, the drunken souls who relate or would love to... It became a den of boho-mirth where dreamers, outcasts, and yes, even the occasional yuppie, tossed back their drinks and clapped their hands in encouragement, daring and imploring the artists to go out there with no net, 'cause in the end the audience would catch them.

Ask us about our Jim Gaffigan story

The next dancer to take off some clothes was Honi Harlow, a burlesque performer who did a Janis Joplin routine with a very clever headlights pun/sight gag at the end of a so-so rendition of Me and Bobby McGee. There was then an unannounced lineup change as Jim Gaffigan (he lives on the block) grabbed the mic and went into this routine about the Subway restaurant chain and their spokesperson Jared. It began very strong, but lost its steam towards the end, falling prey to its own redundancy. The evening again shifted, this time with some multimedia flair as Gaffigan was followed by some video clips. One of which was a Doritos commercial that was to be entered in last year’s Super Bowl promotion, another was a faux pharmaceutical commercial for a drug to help men with their nipple exposure issues; overall they hit more than they missed.

Once the videos were over we were again treated to some of The Ladies; Diane and Jessica of Skits N Tits. Diane took the stage first solo. She entertained the crowd with her own particular blend of excellent standup that was one part witty, one part crass. She told jokes that touched on everything from burn victims, to jerking-off little people, from alcohol/pregnancy zingers, to a really funny bit about haunting the world as a ghost in a pair of period panties and a sock (fucking great!). Ms. Delfino did not do standup per se (she did tell some jokes), but her talent was in some lovely guitar playing, and wonderful comic ditties about licking her pussy right and a sweetly tragic lullaby her mother used to sing for her. Her voice was great, and her songs were too, I could totally see the reason for the popularity of these two ladies (it was a shame that Mrs. Sabelli did not have her own segment to shine).

When the songs of Ms. Delfino were over, Pat Dixon took the stage and had the misfortune of being the last comedian in a night full of great comedians. His Snuggie and blue-porn-tarp jokes were funny, but I was definitely aware of the fact that I had laughed louder over the course of the evening. Mike Damato came next: he did a tremednous Andy Kaufman-esque "lighting a cigarette while lip-synching a cowboy song" routine which amused me SO much more than I thought it would. The last clothed performance was the second, and final, Skit of the evening; A Prostitute Beauty Pageant starring the Ladies, that was much funnier than the first skit and was a fitting cap to a most enjoyable evening. Of course, there were some more Tits on the way out, this time by a burlesque trio, the Chi-Chiones. Their performance was so sensual I think time may have stopped for a moment.

So, what did I learn from my evening, boys and girls? A myriad of things, really...

1)  There is a lot more talent in the world than the crap we all know about.
2)  Leaving the house is worth it.
3)  It is fun to have fun.
4)  Being around others isn't as bad as you think it is.
5)  The Bowery is a place you should definitely go wile away some hours.
6)  You should really check out Skits N Tits next month.

Now I am going to get back on the train, and fire up my Xbox... What? I figure that can count as my social intake for the entire month...