Culture Blues

Don’t Fear the Remake

Not many words in the entertainment world invoke the same skepticism, anger and exasperation in moviegoers as “remake.” Whether Hollywood is resurrecting a classic film, a recent foreign success, or a movie not many people saw in the first place, we seem to have a built-in aversion to the very idea.

But there aren’t many facts to back this up. Sure, recent remakes adhere to the philosophy of catering to the lowest common denominator and hoping for a box office bump from name recognition, however slight it might be. Faithfulness to the original (even in spirit) and creating something worthwhile don’t fit into the equation. This has yielded some fiscally successful films but ones that are also unlikely to be remembered just a few years from now. Last year’s Death Race has more in common with The Running Man than with its namesake, 1975’s Death Race 2000. The original is a true cult classic with a small but passionate following. The remake made $30 million and appears to have spawned a prequel, Death Race: Frankenstein Lives, but I’m sure no one will look back on it fondly 30 years from now.

There are also many remakes that have already stood the test of time or look primed to do so. Scorsese’s Cape Fear. Soderbergh’s Ocean’s Eleven. Cronenberg’s The Fly. Carpenter’s The Thing. These have all surpassed the originals in terms of popularity and relevance (with the possible exception of Cape Fear).

It’s easy to hate on remakes. It’s easy to dismiss them as not as good as the original. It’s easy to shit on them from the moment they’re announced until they arrive in theaters. It’s easy to bemoan Hollywood’s current lack of originality without acknowledging that Black Sheep was a remake of Tommy Boy, that The Fast & The Furious was a remake of Point Break, and that Iron Man was a remake of Batman Begins.

Wouldn’t it be more fun to get excited? Sure, it might result in a lot of disappointment. And it will be obvious that many remakes aren’t worth seeing once cast and crew details are ironed out or a trailer sees the light of day. But when a remake of a movie you like is announced, isn’t it logical, for at least a brief time, to look forward to it simply because somewhere in it there is going to be at least a shred of that original movie? Isn’t that a better start than you get with most movies?

I’m not really sure, because I usually dread remakes, but there are a few on the horizon that I'm fostering optimism for. It might be naïve. It might be unrealistic. But I'm holding out hope for these even though it's clearly too early to really know anything about them.

Videodrome

The Set Up - David Cronenberg’s 1983 (some call it a) classic is a weird movie, even by Cronenberg standards. With ratings-bumping torture, James Woods, and the new flesh (you really need to see it), it’s actually hard to imagine anyone trying to remake it. It’s also exactly the kind of movie that internet nerds get super protective of. Don’t believe me? Type “videodrome remake” into Google and the first things you’ll see are “Fuck Universal’s Videodrome remake,” an announcement in JoBlo’s “Arrow in the Head News” section and something called “Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People” which is exactly what it sounds like. Universal is planning to “modernize the concept, infuse it with the possibilities of nano-technology and blow it up into a large-scale sci-fi action thriller.”

The Bad – Videodrome isn’t just weird, it’s dirty. Dirty in terms of violence, sexuality, and the connection between the two in our society. Not to mention every frame seems filthy. It looks like the kind of movie that I would hate to be on the set of. That sense of very real danger is what gives the movie a great deal of its appeal. It’s unlikely much of that will make it into the remake. Furthermore, Universal’s desire to turn it into a large scale thriller means they will probably try to explain everything a bit too clearly. Their mention of nano-technology already indicates they are thinking too much about the why’s and how’s, which is totally unnecessary.  Plus, it will almost definitely be PG-13.

The Good – The flipside of Videodrome’s weirdness is the fact that it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The language the studio is using right now definitely suggests a big, dumb movie. However, it’s possible it could land in a sweet spot where the weirdness is contained within a more coherent and satisfying narrative. Plus, there are sure to be some chases and explosions. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Awaken The Dragon (Enter the Dragon remake)

The Set Up – Remaking Bruce Lee’s most famous film as a noir style thriller with an FBI agent trailing a Shaolin monk into the underground fighting world.

The Bad – This sounds like one of those instances where there isn’t much to connect the films except for the filmmakers claiming that it’s a remake. And anyway, there isn’t anything unique to the original that’s worth taking, except for Bruce Lee, and that isn’t possible… yet.

The Good – The idea sounds cool and it’s being written and directed by The Shield writer/producer and Sons of Anarchy creator Kurt Sutter. So, yeah, sign me up. They can call it a remake of Awakenings for all I care.

Logan’s Run

The Set Up – The 1976 film is an adaptation of a sci-fi novel, and it’s generally pretty well regarded despite the fact that it totally sucks. Aside from an exceptional single scene performance from Peter Ustinov (apparently sensing that their movie sucked, this scene drags on for an interminable amount of time) and a badass fight on the ruins of the Senate floor, there really isn’t much to enjoy. Originally Bryan Singer was attached to the remake, but it looks like he’s taking a break from working and that Joseph Kosinski will helm the project after he’s finished with the new TRON movie.

The Bad – Singer no longer being involved certainly hurts my interest. The fact that The Island mined a lot of this territory just a few years ago doesn’t bode well for general interest in a Logan’s Run remake. The original movie offered some interesting ideas but there’s not really a whole lot to separate it from lots of other sci-fi.

The Good – It appears that there is a lot of good stuff from the book that never made it into the original film, including a badass gun and a made-up martial arts discipline. And as Equilibrium made pretty obvious, made-up martial arts and inventive uses for firearms can make for a great movie. Get Kurt Wimmer on this thing and I’ll go wait in line now.

Robocop

The Set Up – Paul Verhoeven’s motherfucking classic 1987 film about a Detroit police officer resurrected as a cyborg is a personal favorite of mine. The action, the violence, the satire. It’s pretty much perfectly executed. But recycling Verhoeven films is all the rage right now: Basic Instinct (recent sequel), Total Recall (remake currently in the works), Starship Troopers (recent direct to DVD sequel).

The Bad – As much as I’m trying, it’s hard to see any good reason to remake Robocop. It’s a recognized action classic. The satire, special effects, and action scenes hold up better today than movies made just a few years ago. Robocop fans have already suffered the indignity of two inferior film sequels as well as spin offs into every medium possible. A weak remake could do serious damage to the already weakened legacy of Verhoeven’s original. Plus, it will almost definitely be PG-13.

The Good – As recently as early 2009, it seemed certain that Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream, The Wrestler) would be co-writing and helming the remake. That seems a little less certain now that he has another film ahead of that on his to-do list. But there’s no other name attached yet, so for the time being it’s still Aronofsky. A filmmaker with Aronofsky’s unique vision and reluctance to make easy movies is an unlikely but exciting choice to direct a Robocop remake. Most in danger might be the film’s sense of humor. Aronofsky speaks highly of the original but talk of a “reinvention” that views the material through contemporary eyes means they are already distancing themselves from the original. I’ll happily give Aronofsky the benefit of the doubt for now, though. He just might have the guts and clout to bring another uncompromising, R-rated Robocop to the big screen. After all, the guy made an Oscar nominated drama about a professional wrestler.

Are these movies all going to be memorable successes? It’s unlikely. I’d be psyched if one of them ended up being something I felt was a necessary addition to my DVD collection. But for the time being, I’m treating them as new entries in popular film traditions rather than unnecessary bastardizations by an imagination deprived industry. Feel free to join me.

Tagged as: Bitches leave, Cronenberg, Enter the Dragon, James Woods, Logan's Run, remakes, Robocop, Verhoeven, Videodrome