Culture Blues

Internet Killed the Video Star: October

Every month, we scour the earth (but mostly the internet) to see what’s new in the world of music videos and to dutifully report back to you, and then tell you which ones to watch.

Thom Yorke "All For The Best" – This cover of the Miracle Legion song doesn't improve on the original but it does offer a fresh take. The jittery, percussion-driven track and the morose vocals make for an anxiety-inducing experience. The cacophony stops just short of becoming truly annoying in its attempt to jar listeners. The video reminded me of Vanilla Sky except weirder and more pointless. Yet, I don't have much bad to say about it. I'm getting soft.

These United States "Everything Touches Everything" – Puppetry is awesome.

P!nk "I Don't Believe You"- I was expecting to hate this. Slow song, black and white video. Doesn’t really seem to be in Pink’s wheelhouse. But it won me over. As Pink walks through a deserted wedding (from the ceremony to the reception to the wedding night), the soft lighting gives it a dream like quality that ends up more haunting than romantic. In this context, the bittersweet lyrics become pure self-deception.

Jason Derulo "Whatcha Say" - Nope. Sorry. You can't build a song around the EXACT SAME Imogen Heap sample that the SNL short used. I can't allow it. This video does not exist. On a related note, I like the way this Jason Derulo character dresses.

Taylor Swift "Fifteen" - Taylor Swift makes my ears vomit. But this song isn’t as bad as it could be. Her videos are aimed too squarely at teenage girls for someone who’s supposed to be such a major talent, but at least this one gives a nice arc to a song that probably plays pretty flat on the radio (like most country music).

The Roots "How I Got Over" – A typically strong entry from the legendary Roots crew. The gritty but brightly lit street level imagery of the video fits well with the harsh but ultimately uplifting lyrics.

Orianthi "According to You" – Nothing groundbreaking, but a decent pop song. Successfully straddling the line between teenage self-pity and teenage joy. More importantly though, Orianthi seems to be the real deal on guitar, and it’s pretty obvious that she holds people like Prince and Slash in high regard. Smart girl. Why can’t girly pop songs have serious guitar solos? Unfortunately, the video is not doing her any favors. She looks uncomfortable in most of the set ups and there’s a mysterious guitar shaft plastered onto most of the shots. They seem to be emulating Guitar Hero’s visual style, which is a choice so bizarre I don’t even know what to say about it, except that it’s dumb.

R.A. the Rugged Man "3 Kings" verse – Not exactly a music video. It’s more a promotional piece for RA’s new release. But it’s really well done, and all music videos are just commercials anyway. Come listen to this guy rap his ass off for a minute. It warrants multiple viewings.

Foo Fighters "Wheels" - A thoroughly disappointing effort from Dave Grohl and the boys. It falls in the middle ground between their adrenaline pumping rock anthems and their wuss songs, sure to please no one. Ironic that a song so forgettable is the single released to promote their forthcoming Greatest Hits compilation. The video’s rehearsal concept is interesting, and I really like the sense of space between the members. But ultimately, the video is dull, which is hard to accept from the guys who gave us this.

edibleRed "Hey Ya" – Back in August, it was The Fray covering Kanye. This time it’s some band I’ve never heard of covering Andre 3000’s formerly ubiquitous single. I’m not a fan of the original, and slowing it down and making it less catchy certainly didn’t improve the experience for me. The video is so tedious, that it almost bored me to tears… literally. I wanted to cry while I was watching it. I dare you to sit through the whole thing. Good luck.

Rick Ross ft. Robin Thicke "Lay Back" – I just want to draw attention to Robin Thicke’s awesome hook, and the fact that Rick Ross says “Poconos.” That’s gangsta.

3Oh!3 ft. Katy Perry "Starstrukk" - With a visual aesthetic stolen directly from Lonely Island and a whistle stolen directly from Juelz Santana, this video fails on every level. There is obviously a belief among music video directors and musicians that no matter how vapid and narcissistic the bulk of a video is, if they reveal at the end that it was all a dream or a fantasy, we will somehow without question accept it as self-deprecating or, at the very least, not wildly self-indulgent. I'm here to tell you, this is absolutely not true. If you look pathetic and desperate as dozens of girls run to you and tackle you (I know it's a riff on the movie the song is featured in, and I don't care), and a fully skanked out Katy Perry licks your face, then nothing you do in the last 10 seconds of the video is going to change that. BTW, this may expose me as a complete moron, but I actually thought Katy Perry was better than this. I should mention the one part of the video I actually found amusing, but I'm refusing to out of spite.

Mason Jennings "Ain't No Friend of Mine" - What's up with the toned down Rage Against the Machine guitar riff? Lame.

T.I. "Hell of a Life" – Ah, the Career Retrospective video. It's a classic. It’s a sentimentality machine, but the inclusion of behind the scenes footage makes the manipulation more palatable. It worked for a deceased 2Pac. It worked for Kanye (sort of a preemptive career retrospective). It worked like gangbusters for Johnny Cash. Hell, it even kind of worked for Kid Rock (you have to love the shot of Kid Rock getting drilled with a water bottle during his trademark bit). And here it works for the locked up T.I. My only complaint is that I wish they had used a better song. This one sounds like an inferior Live Your Life sans Just Blaze and Rihanna. On the marketing side, it doesn't get much better than this. Just about halfway through his yearlong stint in jail, and far removed from his last album, T.I. releases a new song accompanied by a video that mixes a portrayal of him going to jail with clips from his noteworthy career up to this point. And it all ends with a calendar marking his first day in (which is exactly one year from the expected date of his release) with a "to be continued." Powerful stuff.

Alicia Keys "Doesn’t Mean Anything" – Well, the track isn’t exactly No One, and the video is laughably bad. After Alicia’s New York apartment dissolves, she climbs a mountain in club pants, a glittery gold tank top and some serious heels. The Empire State of Mind video can’t get here soon enough.

Cormega "Journey" – A very good song from the Queensbridge rapper gets its own kind of career retrospective video. Good concepts are undone by woefully low production values, but just in time for the Series, there’s a Yankee Stadium scene (sort of).

Toxic Avenger "Toxic is Dead" – More of a short film score than a proper song. It’s pretty simple in a big picture sort of way, but I really like the visual style and music videos generally aren’t the time for complicated plotlines. Plus, it’s appropriate for Halloween.

Sea Wolf "Wicked Blood" – A fun ghoulish romp staged like a play, complete with costumed band members and a porcupine (I think). What’s not to love? My Halloween fever is getting serious.

VIDEO OF THE MONTH: P.O.S. ft. Judah Nagler “Never Better” – Minneapolis rapper P.O.S. has kept his fans well fed since the February release of his excellent album Never Better. He’s already released four videos, including the Children of Men inspired Drumroll and the hilarious Optimist. And just in time for Halloween comes the title track. The oppressively dark video sees P.O.S. on a dangerous nighttime stroll. The incredibly simple story is told perfectly. The brooding track isn’t a great introduction to P.O.S., or a great single for that matter (it’s stronger in the context of its late placement on the album), but it’s perfect for the video.

VIDEO FLASHBACK: Wu-Tang Clan “Triumph” – There are many more obvious choices for a Halloween video flashback. For example, the Geto Boys’ Mind Playing Tricks on Me, the greatest Halloween music video ever (yeah I said it). But I’m taking a different approach. My selection is based on the following irrefutable fact: if you and 8 of your friends pull off Halloween costumes as the Wu-Tan Clan members in this video, then you win, at life. Forever. While I allow you to reassemble your brain, let me offer a few more thoughts. First, Cappadonna is the only one who presents a problem. He wears like 8 outfits. Just pick one, or wear all of them. It’s Cappadonna, no one cares. Second, I have no idea how to decide who gets to be RZA. It should be the most coveted costume, cause he has fucking wings! I’d say whichever member of your crew produces platinum records should get the right of first refusal. Finally, I also don’t know how to decide who has to be Masta Killa. The only good thing about dressing up as him is that you’ll get to make people salute all night. One last thing, do yourself a favor and read the wikipedia description of this video. The author tries to make a coherent story out of it. It’s priceless.

Tagged as: Foo Fighters, Halloween, inexplicable unnecessary cover songs, P.O.S., radiohead, T.I., Taylor Swift, The Roots